2008 Technology Prediction: More cases of melanoma will be identified as high definition television becomes more popular.
2nd Attempt: Dermatologists are able to drum up business while they watch shows on HDTV because the clear picture enables them to spot cases of melanoma and text television personalities with diagnoses.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Tattoo Cool
My mom called me early this morning. I thought she was calling about last night's election results, so I started talking about the Clinton comeback. After a while she said that her father had died.
My grandfather was a bit ornery in his later years. He repeated rightwing slogans and he stopped talking to some people, like my mom and her brothers. But he called my mom on her birthday last month and they talked about family and the weather.
It was common for him to disappear as a disappointment then reappear as the person you were looking for.
A few weeks ago my mom was telling me about the time when we were in Mexico with Grandpa. I was about six at the time. Grandpa tried on a leather jacket at a store and became upset because it didn't fit over his bulging stomach. We quickly left Mexico, he dropped us off in Tucson, and 21 hours later he was back in Wisconsin, having drove straight through. If anyone has ever seen me have a panic attack inside a grocery store or outside a grocery store, for that matter, then you might better understand my behavior.
Tonight some of the reasons why I loved my grandfather reappear. He would make me laugh. He would hand me paperback books right after he finished them. He was tattoo cool with an anchor on his left arm, a lit cigarette between two fingers, and a stomach that stuck out of every jacket I saw him wear.
My grandfather was a bit ornery in his later years. He repeated rightwing slogans and he stopped talking to some people, like my mom and her brothers. But he called my mom on her birthday last month and they talked about family and the weather.
It was common for him to disappear as a disappointment then reappear as the person you were looking for.
A few weeks ago my mom was telling me about the time when we were in Mexico with Grandpa. I was about six at the time. Grandpa tried on a leather jacket at a store and became upset because it didn't fit over his bulging stomach. We quickly left Mexico, he dropped us off in Tucson, and 21 hours later he was back in Wisconsin, having drove straight through. If anyone has ever seen me have a panic attack inside a grocery store or outside a grocery store, for that matter, then you might better understand my behavior.
Tonight some of the reasons why I loved my grandfather reappear. He would make me laugh. He would hand me paperback books right after he finished them. He was tattoo cool with an anchor on his left arm, a lit cigarette between two fingers, and a stomach that stuck out of every jacket I saw him wear.
Wikt
wicked [wikt]
1. first step towards enlightenment: he was wicked by the idea of multi-flavored gum.
[Origin: 2008Feb, see wick, candle, candlewick.]
1. first step towards enlightenment: he was wicked by the idea of multi-flavored gum.
[Origin: 2008Feb, see wick, candle, candlewick.]
Thursday, February 21, 2008
The world makes me nervous
I'm afraid that time is circular. I recently bought a collection of NYT crossword puzzles from the early 2000s. I'm disappointed with the purchase because I'm now doing crosswords that I've done before and struggling with them like I did the first time around.
But the non-linear world makes me nervous. What if I pick up my laundry then go straight to the gym instead of dropping it off at home? How am I going to explain my bag full of clean laundry to the people at the gym? Will they accuse me of stealing towels from the gym? Will they ask to borrow a pair of socks? Or what if I go in reverse through time and end up in college again? I don't want to have baked beans with every meal again.
Where is my trajectory? Where are the days when I would stare at expiration dates on food products and imagine the great things I would be doing on that approaching day?
(My milk expired today, so I'm in a contemplative mood.)
But the non-linear world makes me nervous. What if I pick up my laundry then go straight to the gym instead of dropping it off at home? How am I going to explain my bag full of clean laundry to the people at the gym? Will they accuse me of stealing towels from the gym? Will they ask to borrow a pair of socks? Or what if I go in reverse through time and end up in college again? I don't want to have baked beans with every meal again.
Where is my trajectory? Where are the days when I would stare at expiration dates on food products and imagine the great things I would be doing on that approaching day?
(My milk expired today, so I'm in a contemplative mood.)
Sunday, February 10, 2008
2008 Prediction
It's February and I have a much better feel for 2008 than I did in January. I will now make a prediction.
Prediction 1: Out of concern for the environment Greenpeace will begin tracking then boarding SUV's.
Prediction 1: Out of concern for the environment Greenpeace will begin tracking then boarding SUV's.
Six Degrees of Family Separation
Everyone is an average of six degrees away from each person on Earth. This goes for family members, too. I'm close to my immediate family but am not close with the rest. This game will reconnect me with members of my family.
1. My uncle used to drive a blue Volkswagen Golf.
2. My grandfather has a fondness for foursomes, the playing card variety.
3. The Denver Broncos sometimes play a 3-4 defense.
4. My aunt partied with the Broncos in the 80's.
5. Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello enjoyed a comeback in the 1987 film comedy, "Back to the Beach".
6. I used to listen to the Beach Boys greatest hits in my room but would always skip their song, "In My Room".
Do you want to play?
1. My uncle used to drive a blue Volkswagen Golf.
2. My grandfather has a fondness for foursomes, the playing card variety.
3. The Denver Broncos sometimes play a 3-4 defense.
4. My aunt partied with the Broncos in the 80's.
5. Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello enjoyed a comeback in the 1987 film comedy, "Back to the Beach".
6. I used to listen to the Beach Boys greatest hits in my room but would always skip their song, "In My Room".
Do you want to play?
Sunday, January 27, 2008
The Walk to MSG
I was walking towards Madison Square Garden and feeling a little discombibimbapulated. I had just eaten more Korean bibimbap than the surgeon general and the gastroenterologist lieutenant recommends in one sitting. I was with a friend and we were on our way to see a comedian. My friend is a big fan of the comedian. I'm less of one, but I know from experience that a show is more enjoyable when you display similar emotions as the person you went with. I have a flashback to me broadly grinning at a Hall and Oates concert and my date sitting stone(d) quiet. At that night's show, for my friend's sake, I was going to do what the crowd handlers at Letterman's show say before each show, laugh if it's close.
I'm not very good at laughing when it's close, so I sat quietly through the first 3/4 of the show. I was caught out in the cold on some of her pop references, but near the end she told a nervous tale about her new relationship and I experienced the comedy cycle: smile, pain, laugh, pain, smile.
I'm not very good at laughing when it's close, so I sat quietly through the first 3/4 of the show. I was caught out in the cold on some of her pop references, but near the end she told a nervous tale about her new relationship and I experienced the comedy cycle: smile, pain, laugh, pain, smile.
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